ok was just looking aroung for some easter .gif's and i stumbled across this insane site that had rules and regulations from a christian/baptist handbook... all i got to say is wtf is wrong with these fucking jesus freakazoids? guess they realllllly hate rabbits
these are just 2 paragraphs from this insane rule book
Paragraph 4 -
Of all the Pagan symbols created by Satan to steal the True Christian History™ of religious holidays, none, save Santa Claus is more dangerous than the Easter Bunny. Painted pagan eggs, Easter baskets, and yellow marshmallow chickens don't hold a candle to this furry four legged demonic spawn, forged in the fires of Hell by Lucifer himself, for the sole purpose of distracting innocent little snow white children from the true meaning behind Easter Sunday. As the former angel of light, the Devil is an expert in trickery! This has been evident from 1923 to present time in modern churches where so-called "Christians" display the Easter bunny or pictures of bunnies in their Easter Sunday service programs. Sadly, many pastors have been seduced by the Devil's seemingly innocent long eared, hopping hellion. But do not be mistaken! Underneath that silky soft white coat of hair lay the tight red skin and pulsing veins of a miniature demon. And there are millions of them! Have you ever heard the term, "breed like rabbits?" Well, the Devil is laughing right at YOU! If you don't understand that Satan's job is breeding minions and the bunny rabbit is the ultimate symbol of minion breeding, then please close this book now and find another place of worship, for you are not welcome here.
Paragraph 5 -
Since 1923, Church authorities have not permitted the presence of rabbits on the Landover Church campus. Any family found possessing or breeding rabbits will have the rabbits terminated and suffer public humiliation. In addition, they will receive immediate counseling from a Deacon or Pastor (fine accrual not to exceed $2,800). [AMENDMENT - 1957 - Church members found to be watching television programs where rabbits are depicted, including the popular pornographic cartoon, Bugs Bunny, where the rabbit is made to appear human in nature (i.e.: walking on two hind legs) and unclothed are subject to severe discipline at the Pastor's whim, and fines not to exceed $4,300]. [AMENDMENT: 1962 - Pastor has reviewed the popular film, Harvey, starring Christian actor, James Stewart, and deemed the material inappropriate for Landover Baptist Church members (as are any picture house films). See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages 305-450 for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines]. [AMENDMENT: 1974 - No church member is permitted to consume or digest the product, "Trix." With the slogan, "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids! Satan has revealed himself to the blind world of unsaved morons, but still they refuse to believe! (See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages 305-450 for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines)]. [AMENDMENT - 1984 - Pastor has viewed the film, Roger Rabbit and has instructed that no further edicts be made to this section - any and all forms of rabbits in any form of media or reality are unacceptable until Armageddon (See Chapter 42 | Motion Pictures | Section 43 | Pages 305-450 for extensive details on discipline and monetary fines)].
ok ...so how many of you watched that porno when you were just a kid.? i really liked when bugs dressed as a girl rabbit lol
well i found this churches email that inforces this crap and i have sent them about 50 pics/gif images of rabbits lol pastor@landoverbaptist.org and here is their forums holy fucking rollers have fun!!! and Happy Easter
i felt the need to register in their forums and post my holy roller post ok well never mind they deleted all of my post's and banned me lol
Full Version: RABBIT'S SATANS SPAWN? WTF
Yeah, these people ruin it for the rest of us. I have strong beliefs, and still celebrate Easter, Christmas and Halloween like the other people. I always have, and always will.
The problem with these people is that they take it too far. As long as you keep the focus and the meaning of the holiday, then adding a little bit of fun and imagination for the little kids is just fine. You need to get them excited about the holiday, and giving them chocolate and stuffed animals is the easiest way to do it. Later on, you can really hone in on the real meaning. I don't know many 5 year olds who understand immaculate conception and resurrection.
The problem with these people is that they take it too far. As long as you keep the focus and the meaning of the holiday, then adding a little bit of fun and imagination for the little kids is just fine. You need to get them excited about the holiday, and giving them chocolate and stuffed animals is the easiest way to do it. Later on, you can really hone in on the real meaning. I don't know many 5 year olds who understand immaculate conception and resurrection.
All church is corrupt. It’s been that was since the beginning. It’s a form of control.
Believe is Jesus, Believe in God, but do it in your own way. Read the books, educate yourself. Don’t let the church tell you what to believe.
REAL ALL THE BOOKS! Not just the books that Constantine and his Bishops of the time decided should be in the bible.
BTW- In Medieval times King Edward I distributed 450 Gold leaf covered eggs to his servants for Easter. Today’s tradition for eggs comes from that time I think.
Animal association is also very common. Tell that stupid church that Jesus isn’t a lamb and they should stop referring to him that was at once.
Bahh... this is why I don’t goto church
Believe is Jesus, Believe in God, but do it in your own way. Read the books, educate yourself. Don’t let the church tell you what to believe.
REAL ALL THE BOOKS! Not just the books that Constantine and his Bishops of the time decided should be in the bible.
BTW- In Medieval times King Edward I distributed 450 Gold leaf covered eggs to his servants for Easter. Today’s tradition for eggs comes from that time I think.
Animal association is also very common. Tell that stupid church that Jesus isn’t a lamb and they should stop referring to him that was at once.
Bahh... this is why I don’t goto church
It's all fake anyways. Brainwashing is power!
They want your money !!!!!
well now that i take another look at this again with it now not being 430 am...... its just as fucked up when i 1st saw it lol. Yeah i have no problem with religion but damn.....they are just sooo fucking bored that they need to just find and make up shit so to keep their pathetic little existence justified. I could hardly imagine what they think about halloween lol
hallowen is the work of the devil
Lmao just found this also rofl...according to this im a goth and i bet you can get atleast 5 out of here if not more lol
Is Your Child a Goth?
Was Salem Correct?
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone
astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,
darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.
-Frequently wears black clothing. ok this fits me
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. ok this fits me
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. ok this fits me
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson ok this fits me
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. ok this fits me
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs. ok this fits me
-Drinks alcohol. ok this fits me
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.)
-Complains of boredom. ok this fits me
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. ok this fits me
-Is excessively awake during the night. ok this fits me
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. ok this fits me
-Spends large amounts of time alone. ok this fits me
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. ok this fits me
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. ok this fits me
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little ok this fits me
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. ok this fits me
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may
watch.) ok this fits me
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. ok this fits me
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. ok this fits me
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. ok this fits me
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. ok this fits me
-Expresses an interest in sex. ok this fits me
-Masturbates. ok this fits me lol
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately.
The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these
problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
ok i got like 25.. how many you have? rofl
Is Your Child a Goth?
Was Salem Correct?
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone
astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,
darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.
-Frequently wears black clothing. ok this fits me
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. ok this fits me
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. ok this fits me
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson ok this fits me
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. ok this fits me
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs. ok this fits me
-Drinks alcohol. ok this fits me
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.)
-Complains of boredom. ok this fits me
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. ok this fits me
-Is excessively awake during the night. ok this fits me
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. ok this fits me
-Spends large amounts of time alone. ok this fits me
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. ok this fits me
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. ok this fits me
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little ok this fits me
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. ok this fits me
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may
watch.) ok this fits me
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. ok this fits me
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. ok this fits me
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. ok this fits me
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. ok this fits me
-Expresses an interest in sex. ok this fits me
-Masturbates. ok this fits me lol
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately.
The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these
problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
ok i got like 25.. how many you have? rofl
they actually took the time to change my avatar i had at their forums,from a beastly devil to a black dude with a huge afro!!! lol god i think i found a new hobby just pissinn them off!!! lol
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.)- extremist christians used to do this and some still do, when they would sin they would self mutilate themselves.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)- i was pretty sure you could pray in silence.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal- wow.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may
watch.)- TV is satan. haha my friend has cousins who's parents say that spongebob is the devil.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.- this also fits you omalley, dont deny it.
and i like how in the first post they say that they will kill a rabbit if they find a household to contain it... animal cruelty laws?
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.)- extremist christians used to do this and some still do, when they would sin they would self mutilate themselves.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)- i was pretty sure you could pray in silence.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal- wow.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may
watch.)- TV is satan. haha my friend has cousins who's parents say that spongebob is the devil.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.- this also fits you omalley, dont deny it.
and i like how in the first post they say that they will kill a rabbit if they find a household to contain it... animal cruelty laws?
this is their false religions section.
false religions
Asatru (Asstrue - an obvious reference to the copious amount of anal sex in their rituals)
Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo, JustAGuy
worship: The Mighty Thor, a character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962. They also worship the later characters, Thor's evil half-brother Loki, Heimdal, Baldur, Sif, and Odin. But most important is the so-called "All-Father", Satan himself. --- Dude these are norse gods worshiped hundreds of years ago
Buddhists (boodists)
Submitted by: Pastor Nereu Gargalo
worship: an obese naked Chinaman, and Satan --- buddha was a skinny indian guy named Siddarther (spelling is wrong)
Daoism/Taoism
Submitted by: SifuPhil, with additional information provided by Petal, Tim Tungtalker, and Glendora Christianson.
Definition: A pack of strung-out junkies perfoming Tai Chi, drinking Chai Tea, smoking pot, drinking beer, sleeping with every woman in town, drinking rum, and shoving bananas in various orafices. They claim to achieve everything by doing nothing and they believe in Ying Yan Yuck Yoo, the circle, half black, half white, half witted.
Worship: Nothing, everything, nature, and Satan.-- wow.
Free masons jars
Submitted by: TemplarPHI
Definition: An ancient society of old men who think they can unravel the secrets of the universe by drinking liquor and playing poker for two hours every Wednesday night and who don't realize how stupid they look in robes.
Worship: Archways, elevators, the letter 'G', and Satan.
There is no way this a real religion. i dont think i can believe anyone is so retard to believe this.
false religions
Asatru (Asstrue - an obvious reference to the copious amount of anal sex in their rituals)
Submitted by: Pastor Nerue Gargalo, JustAGuy
worship: The Mighty Thor, a character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962. They also worship the later characters, Thor's evil half-brother Loki, Heimdal, Baldur, Sif, and Odin. But most important is the so-called "All-Father", Satan himself. --- Dude these are norse gods worshiped hundreds of years ago
Buddhists (boodists)
Submitted by: Pastor Nereu Gargalo
worship: an obese naked Chinaman, and Satan --- buddha was a skinny indian guy named Siddarther (spelling is wrong)
Daoism/Taoism
Submitted by: SifuPhil, with additional information provided by Petal, Tim Tungtalker, and Glendora Christianson.
Definition: A pack of strung-out junkies perfoming Tai Chi, drinking Chai Tea, smoking pot, drinking beer, sleeping with every woman in town, drinking rum, and shoving bananas in various orafices. They claim to achieve everything by doing nothing and they believe in Ying Yan Yuck Yoo, the circle, half black, half white, half witted.
Worship: Nothing, everything, nature, and Satan.-- wow.
Free masons jars
Submitted by: TemplarPHI
Definition: An ancient society of old men who think they can unravel the secrets of the universe by drinking liquor and playing poker for two hours every Wednesday night and who don't realize how stupid they look in robes.
Worship: Archways, elevators, the letter 'G', and Satan.
There is no way this a real religion. i dont think i can believe anyone is so retard to believe this.
That is some fucked up shit on that website....why are people so god damn ignorant?
We all know that scientology is the one true religion.
Religion= Hooha!
scientology had to google that lol
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